World Eaters on Bikes

I've been painting my Khorne army for about two years now and, truth be told, I'm growing a little tired of painting all that red and brass. It seems there becomes a point in the painting of an army where it all stagnates and one must shake things up in order to see the work done to the bitter end.

Well, lepers and ghouls, that's why I'm here--to bring you ideas when your army painting stagnates. To provide a pep in your step. Some zing in your sling. A little jizz in your gin fizz...

Death and the Possessed Tax

As the old saying goes...There's two certainties in life: death, and the fact that Games Workshop will shit on Chaos Space Marines. 

The big boys in blue get their Gladius formation where they get free tanks, free razorbacks even, and old Chaos well, we get a steaming heap of shit called Traitor's Hate. 

Et Tu, Helbrute?

Let's get down to brass tacks here, the helbrute is one of Gee-Dub's best models that has, for no known reason, been given a proper jackboot in the dick. Chaos Space Marines, inexplicably, continue to be the red headed stepchild of the 40K universe. Yada, yada, yada. Yes, I'll have a tall glass of chilled urine...I mean whine...

But wait a minute...There's a glimpse of light down the fudge tunnel...Is that...Is that a FAQ that boosts one of the shittiest units in the game?

Khorne Bikers

Khorne bikers, the Black Widows of 40K. What does this mean you ask? Is this another obscure reference that will possibly come back and mildly relate to 40K? 

Well...Does a white bear shit on ice?

Soul Grinder of Khorne

Games Workshop's Soul Grinder was the model that sucked me back in. And by God's balls the vortex really gripped a hold of me like trailer park pussy...There was really no event horizon, just steady, irresistible gravity that would cause Stephan Hawking to drop a hefty load in his diapers...

Chaos Lord of Khorne on Juggernaut--Someday Lady You'll Accomp'ny Me

Wait a minute, I know what you're thinking--Fucking Bob Seger? Someday Lady You'll Accomp'ny Me? What in Sam Hill is he up to this time? Chaos Lord of Khorne on Juggernaut? Can he possibly tie it all together?

Probably not, but let's give it a try anyway...

The Plight of the Berserker, Part 1

Khorne Berserkers throw themselves at the enemy like rabid animals. With their minds twisted by psychosurgery, the Berserkers feel no fear, knowing only a roaring tide of exhilaration and the absolute desperate need to kill. These are Khorne's holy destroyers, the blood-drenched enforcers of his murderous will. As they pound across the battlefield toward the foe, the Berserkers shrug off even the heaviest fire, their determination driving them on through wounds that would kill a lesser man thrice over. Their howls of devotion reach fever pitch as they charge headlong into the enemy lines, chainaxes revving and ready to kill. The carnage that follows is terrible to behold, severed limbs and lopped heads tumbling through the air amid a rain of gore. So perish all who stand before the Berserkers of Khorne. 

And now some music apropos of the fluff...

Herald of Khorne on Juggernaut

Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According to this morning's sample it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six-hundred pounds...

Squad Goals...New Year...Finding a Needle in a Haystack...Never Saying Goodbye...Blue Bloodletters...

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years, slapping queers, pulling your mom's ears...Is that how it goes...Can't remember...At any rate, guess what my resolution is this year? Yup, you got it--resurrecting this piece of shit blog.

Karanak Conversion

This is it. My pent up rage must be unleashed. Khorne calls and when the dark lord summons us we must answer. In other words...Whatever shitty music you're listening to right now--whether it be Kate Bush or some limp dick jam band--turn it off right now, put the volume as far as the neighbors will allow it for eight minutes and listen to the following...

Spiders!

Spiders...Yes spiders. One of the creepiest of the creepy-crawlies on our planet. Perfect for a Chaos Daemon army. But what to use and why?

Vulgar Display of Power

If you're not listening to this song after seeing the album cover above, well...You're either not a metal fan or just a big, fat lame-ass. 

One of the great things about Warhammer 40,000 is that it's so metal-centric. Certain armies just give off the metal vibe and it goes hand in hand with building and painting--especially when building and painting a Khorne army. 

Bloodletter Paint Scheme Test

One word. Primus. Two words: Pork Soda. Another fantastic album from the early nineties. I don't remember where I was when I first heard these guys but I do know what song it was:

Khorne!

Ok, there have been some tasty rumors of late. Apparently after GW releases the new Brettonian stuff for Warhammer Fantasy there will be some Chaos Daemon releases. There's been a lot of speculation and many of us have our fingers crossed that some new greater daemon kits will be on the way.