Sunday, June 12, 2016

Building a Better Centurion

Let's face facts here. Centurions have some stellar rules, but the models...Well, the models aren't so great. They're a bit like the dude in the picture--lots of weapons but look like they've been huffing glade out of condoms for too long...

Yeah, that actually happened. I went with a pal to buy weed from some dudes...This was waaaay back in '98 or so...And when we got there the dudes were huffing glade from the afore mentioned receptacles. In case you were wondering, I didn't partake... 
Oh yeah, this blog may seem that it comes straight from the mind of a glue-huffer but it's really just the rantings of a proclaimed 40k addict. 

You see, this blog is a warm up for other writing and I've made a pledge to never edit anything. I want all the juice to spill out like so much spunk on the bedsheet. I created this sanctum sanctorum in order to rage against the ridiculousness of the 40k webverse. I mean, don't you dumb fucks think you're taking yourselves a little too seriously? 

You're all a bunch of adults, playing with toys (nothing wrong with that) but creating these PG websites and content as if there might be kids out there that are listening to your dumb shit. 

Get over yourselves. 

You're not that important. 

Nothing is. 

We live, we die. 

In between we may love, laugh and paint some figs. 

Take your rules lawyering, your spam lists and your stupid soft soap articles and stick 'em where the sun don't shine. 

Turn off the Dave Matthew's Band right this instant. There's a reason why your dick is soft and weak and pumps jizz out lifelessly like the last dying breath of an earthworm.

Here, let me help:

But, but...But what? Stop the insanity.

Here's a man that can say it all much better than I...

I suppose we should get to the meat of this post...

If I haven't lost my one or two readers after this...

So, centurions kinda blow as models go. Right?

Right. They're just a little too clunky. Too boring. Just a little herp-derp. But my main beef is they're just too damn static.

Let's help that. Let's extend those legs a bit. 

 Here's the bits for the drills that no one ever uses.

 Grab your pair of trusty snippers...

And cut these babies just like so.

 What we're looking for is this little piece here.

 Take the leg armors and separate them with an exacto blade.

 So you're left with these guys.

 Now, take the leg pieces and snip the ball joint off the bottom.

 Like so..

 And snip the legs from the groin so you're left with the above.

 Still with me? Now glue the little pieces from the drill bits onto the bottoms of the legs where the ball joints once were.

 They'll look like this. Once you have them in place you'll begin putting the armor on the legs.

 Like this. You want the leg armor to fit snugly right below the knee. Some extra shaving with the exacto blade may be necessary (just like your mom's 70's style bush).

 Here's the other leg for reference. The armor fits neatly and exposes the knee joint.

 The next step is to glue everything back to the pelvis. Did I not mention you should save those little ball joints from the bottom of the feet? Yeah. Take those and glue them to the machinery that goes down the side of the leg. This will give the machinery a place to fit on the side of the leg.

centurion conversion
Once it's all in place it looks like this. I didn't put the extra armor on this guy. I also put the banner on his giblets to hide his crotch.

 Here's what the back end looks like. If you do it right it will all fit perfectly.

Side angle. 

centurion conversion
Here's our boy on a base...

centurion conversion
 And here he is all painted up, drilled out and scraped clean.

 As you can see, the machinery looks fine once it's painted.

centurion conversion
Here we are again with a white background. Now that's a sexy bitch right there. 

And for comparison's sake, the real McCoy. 

centurion conversion
 The change is subtle, but I dunno, I like my dude better. He's more svelte and the ability to pose him does wonders for the model. I also like him without the shoulder pads.

Hope you guys like it.

And if you don't...I won't be losing any sleep.

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