Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years, slapping queers, pulling your mom's ears...Is that how it goes...Can't remember...At any rate, guess what my resolution is this year? Yup, you got it--resurrecting this piece of shit blog.
I moved to Los Angeles at the end of May 2016. It's fucking weird. The weather's nice but there's an intangible strangeness about the people here. Angelenos are extremely isolated and one piece of that puzzle is because it is impossible to not be in your car for long periods of time. The rumors are true, LA is vast, an enormous megalopolis that is grows like a gibbering desert virus. There is virtually no mass transportation due to the fact that it would be nigh impossible to pull off in a sprawl of this size. So, we drive. We spend time in our car's listening to podcasts and in turn we are cocooned from one another on the freeways.
My mind conjures up those days when I worked in corporate America, stuffed into one of Boston's T train cars like the compacted turds of a bodybuilder with diverticulitis. There we all were, shoulder to shoulder like factory farmed cows, miserable yes, but keeping in touch through our collective suffering. In LA there is no suffering unless the idiot at the local cafe accidentally puts steamed hemp milk in your latte instead of almond. The cities of the northeast are dark, cold, crowded and foreboding and with these features comes a sense of camaraderie. Not so out here.
Out here, we're all on our own. Hurtling through space in our combustible engines, surrounded by metal, poisoning the atmosphere a little at a time but remembering to stay in shape so we'll make good looking corpses.
The freeways here never stop, never end. They're infinite canals of concrete and sound. The scale of this city is mind boggling, it doesn't seem real. It's like living in a strange sci-fi movie where the beginning of the apocalypse is shown to us but we can't prevent it.
Hopefully this brings me to my next point: The absence of decent 40K clubs in LA.
You'd think that a city of this size, a city with roughly the same population as the entire continent of Australia, would be teeming with GW stores and clubs. Wrong. The 40K scene here is thinner than a type 7 on the Bristol stool scale. I haven't played a game since I got out here. I'm jonesing. It's been close to eight months.
There are clubs, but many are out in the sticks and I still haven't had the desire to drive 20 miles for a game. It'll come. I'm not trying to squeeze out a brown brick of sympathy here...But I've gotta say that I truly took my 40K clubs in Boston for granted.
One regret I had upon leaving Boston is never saying goodbye to all the fellas at Evil Dice. For almost five years I gamed there, I bought and built armies, I shared laughs, annoyed people, had some really great times and throughout my tenure took the club for granted. I figured 40K clubs like Evil Dice existed everywhere across the globe and discovered this is not the case. Evil Dice is like the great beacon of the Emperor that shines throughout the galaxy.
Cue one of the shittiest, or greatest (depending on your cheese factor) rock ballads of all time:
Oh, and just remember the writer of this tune, Richie Sambora got more ass than a toilet seat. How many times did you beat off to Heather Locklear back in the day? That's what I thought...
So anyway, yeah, I never said goodbye to the greatest 40K club on earth. What made it so special you ask? Well, the people and the camaraderie, of course. So here's a new year's 40K toast to Rob, the many Pauls, Kaitlyn, Mark (Magoo), Evan, Payson, Wes, Sean and everyone else down at the Hobby Bunker.
And a special moment of silence for our lost brother Nurgle Marc. He told me once he liked to read this blog, which made him one of three or four people who actually came onto this piece of crap. Well Marc, I didn't know a lot about you, but I played 40K next to you for over four years and I hope wherever you are you're still kicking ass and making tough lists.
Nostalgia man, it's like a woman you only slept with once and wanted more but she disappeared in the maelstrom of time like a wraith. Maybe she would have been good for you and maybe not.
Since this is technically a 40K blog, I'll throw some recently painted stuff down.
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